Part 38 The Chronicles Of Being Sarah Marie
“You Just Can’t Make This Shit Up;
Who, What & How The Fuck Have I Survived The Unthinkable!”
LISTEN!
I rightfully could have filed a lawsuit of my own for defamation, slander, frivolous and malicious prosecution, intentional infliction of emotional distress, mental anguish, domestic abuse, and tortious interference, but have chosen not to (despite what he has CHOSEN to do).
Instead I have continued my journey to heal, grow, laugh, love, experience as much joy as humanly possible in the reality of what is, and create in the chaos.
I had my final follow-up appointment on December 17th, with the plastic surgeon who performed reconstructive surgery on my elbow in October last year.
I had just met this man, and he showed more compassion than the man I married and thought I knew for 15 years. That day, I experienced the best of humanity, and 7 days earlier, I experienced the worst.
December 10, 2025, I attended my 6th court appearance since February 2025, two years post-divorce.
I was reminded, and God gifted me with crystal clear clarity of why I made the decision to cut off all communication, cold turkey, from my ex-husband in the first place.
I say gifted, because I had doubted myself and questioned whether or not I made the right decision to risk it all and walk away from the lifestyle that although I had worked hard for, was not secure, and built on a shaky and conditional foundation.
Well, that day, I looked at a dark soul in the eyes, with zero compassion or remorse, and within the first 30 seconds of being in his presence, I relived the same dismissive, disrespectful, bully behavior that caused me to protect my peace and love myself enough to do it. Only this time, I wasn’t alone, and I wasn’t afraid.
It had been over 3 years, 1 month and 20 days since I allowed him any access to me. We were in court, because of HIS Motion To Modify spousal support in an amount that HE had set, I accepted, yet he still wasn’t paying.
While the judge was out of the chamber, I listened to him charm the bailiff and brag about his vacations, and where the bailiff should go, even what shows he should watch while in Vegas.
When the judge returned, he sent us to see if we could settle out of court, somewhat like a mediation, the 4th since I filed for divorce. At each mediation, my ex-husband set the amounts he wanted to pay, signed the orders, and never adhered to any part of any order, which in turn caused me the need to file an Enforcement.
Subsequently, the ONLY time he paid consecutively for 3 months was after he was found in Contempt Of Court, then ONLY paid arrears he owed AFTER my 3rd attorney filed a Motion To Revoke Suspension.
I am assuming that as a way to hurt me, he made sure the arrears was paid to me from Tricksy Cunningham’s account (still married to my family member at the time). Hence: “You Just Can’t Make This Shit Up; Who The Fu@k Did I Divorce?’”
There is not one thing in this divorce that I have fought for that I rightfully earned and deserved after 12 years of marriage, and 15 years together. I sacrificed, supported and loved him in every way, worked my ass off, even to the detriment of my own health and well being.
My family and I contributed greatly to every business venture whether physically working or through our personal relationships to the tune of over $1 Million Dollars in investment capital. So for him to withhold anything from me and treat me worse than his 2 dogs after betraying me in the most diabolical way is malicious, cruel, vindictive, heartless, petty, and cowardly abusive.
Still I pray for his soul.
As my sister was wheeling me out, he looked at me and said something to the effect of let’s end this. Let me, you, Nedra and the attorneys meet to settle this. My response, was “I would love nothing more”.
In a perfect world, after all of the “low down piece of shit” (his words) things he has done that he warned and promised he would become and do if I ever got out of line, or took him to court, I prayed that Dick would finally take accountability for his actions and behaviors that has caused me and my family so much pain. Apologize for the horrible, vindictive, and diabolical things he has done. Own up to the lies he has told, BE the man he promised and vowed to be to me and make right all the wrongs he has inflicted.
Well, it’s not a perfect world and instead of saying; Sarah, I’m sorry for all the trauma, pain and turmoil I have caused you, he came in hot and immediately went into how he could not afford to pay me $2,500/mo, wanted to go down to $500/mo, threatened to appeal to the judge that he would ask for $0, and how it was my fault that he couldn’t pay.
He was angry that anytime he didn’t pay, that I would have the gall to file an enforcement stating; “she’s always trying to send me to jail.”
He was combative with my attorney, disrespectful waving her off and was visibly angry to the point where he was shaking from head to toe. It was disheartening to see him filled with that much anger to the extent we could see his pants legs moving he was shaking so hard.
I don’t know if he was enraged that my attorney asked him; “why if he could pay $500 a month, why he went almost a year paying $0/mo, and why he was making disrespectful payments of $20 here, $40 there”, or if it was because I was still standing, not broken, and the same way I always am — cool as a cucumber and non-combative.
He finally said to my attorney, “I’m not talking to you” and then very smugly looked at me and said; Sarah what are you gonna do?
I took a deep breath, pointed at him with my arthritic finger and said; “You don’t get to speak to me that way anymore. We are only here because of you”.
He immediately interrupted me, like he always did, and said:, “Oh really, that’s what you believe”, my sister stepped in and said: “No Dick, you had your chance to speak with no interruption, it’s her turn now.”
I was fighting back tears because I was having flashbacks of how I used to feel, and at the same time proud of myself for having the courage to walk away.
I’m not gonna sugar coat it. Walking away is one hurdle, staying away during the financial struggle is a whole other challenge. It’s where loving yourself and understanding your worth has to outweigh the moments of doubt!
I don’t understand why he doesn’t get it. I married him because of genuine, unconditional love. I didn’t marry him for money. I did not stay with him because of money and I certainly was not gonna continue to be disrespected or verbally, emotionally, and physiologically abused for money.
I would much rather live in 900 sq. ft. of certainty, love and peace of mind and heart, than 4000 sq. ft. of uncertainty, control, and chaos.
Again, I accepted and signed a 4th order on January 23, 2026 that he now pay $500/month on the 15th of every month.
I refuse to fight a man, to BE a man, or to be something he is unwilling or incapable of being.
On December 23, 2005 he sent me an email that I did not read or respond to.
He paid:
$125 on Jan. 2
$125 on Jan. 12
$125 on Jan. 14
$125 on. Jan. 15
This month I received $125 on Feb. 17th paid to me from Tricksy’s account.😂🙊 #YouJustCan’tMakeThisShitUp
His attempts to communicate with me have gone unanswered. I have no interest in responding to someone who continues to blame me, shows no remorse, or compassion, refuses to accept responsibility for the lies and diabolical behavior, and is still a disrespectful bully.
“Communicating with a narcissistic ex-husband is detrimental because it fuels their need for control, triggers manipulative behavior, and invites emotional abuse, such as gaslighting and circular arguments. They often use contact to maintain power, punish you for leaving, and avoid accountability, making it impossible to have a productive or rational dialogue.”
- Midlife Divorce Recovery
I have been cognizant not to internalize what he does or says in terms of how it relates to me, my value or my worth. He doesn’t yield the power to determine that unless I give it.
#ProtectYourPeace #knowyourworth #healyourheart #loveyourselffirst❤️
Love & Light,
Sarah Marie🌹
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