Part 27 The Chronicles Of Being Sarah Marie
“You Just Can’t Make This Shit Up;
Who The Fuck Did I Divorce?”LISTEN!
The empathetic part of me has just been praying that this dude would just do the right thing, follow the court orders, be the man he claims to be, STOP filing motions, STOP filing lawsuits, STOP dragging me through the courts, STOP playing the victim, STOP being a coward, STOP lying, STOP pretending, STOP being vindictive, STOP being petty, STOP being hateful, just STOP!
I believe that (in the words of Kendrick Lamar): “It was God’s plan to show y’all the liar, AND If you stop telling lies about me, I won’t have to tell the truth about you.”
Now it’s August 2020! In the seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months and years that followed, it was a constant struggle to maintain my peace. Having to continue to interact with Dick on any level was hard enough, but to have to now ask him for money, and be reprimanded and reminded that he was reason I lived a “luxury” lifestyle, even though I had paid my dues and earned it, that it could all be taken away; while he was now actively and openly having affairs with both Cookie and Tricksy was diabolical, ruthless and cruel.
Aug 1, 2020 at 10:01 PM
I sent a message to Dick that my bonus baby (his daughter) asked if I would throw her a 21st birthday bash at the house, and without hesitation, I said absolutely yes! I had already ordered the margarita machine and was putting plans in motion to celebrate her big day. I had no thoughts of me, or the drama I and her dad were dealing with, it was all about making her feel loved and special on her birthday!
On this day, he was on board and offered to pay for everything.
August 4, 2020 (18:01 minutes) More chastising, blaming and projecting what he and Tricksy did onto me and my nephew, and berating me)
“Sarah what YOU did was fucked up.
That lie you told Tricksy was stupid and foolish and because she told me, you risked yo whole shit and your life blew up.”
August 8, 2020 @ 4:03pm
(This was 7 days AFTER I told him that HIS daughter reached out to ME to throw her a party for her 21st birthday. She already knew what had happened and obviously was not going to allow that to interfere with HER big day, and neither was I.)
Dick:
Does your brother know about all of this shit?
Sarah @ 7:14pm
Sorry just seeing this I've been working 😳. Yes he does
Dick @ 7:20pm
Please tell him not to say anything to me about this because I'm gonna get some shit started if he does. Not trying to be fucked up but I damn sure don't wanna hear shit from him.
Sarah @ 7:23pm
Dick no one is interested in saying anything to you about this so no worries...I'm excited to celebrate baby girl tomorrow just getting everything prepared 😇
Then, out of left field, after my sister and I worked our asses of to give her the best party for her and her friends, because of his insecurities and his ego, shit maybe Tricksy got in his head, I don’t know but this is what I had to hear from Dick at 7:28 pm
“Sarah. You truly have a condescending way about you that I really can't stand. I just have never seen it before like this.
Please don't pretend to know what everyone thinks and will do.
I am well aware of my daughter’s party and I am also aware your brother likes to be Jesus and counselor to everyone as well so don't play like I'm crazy for telling you to check your people.
Question. With all of this shit going on don't you think it’s a bad time to be having a big family get together? Did you even consider how fucked up this party is gonna be for me and her with all of this or is this just you forgetting that there's alot more than what you want at play here?
I've been holding back saying this but after last night I just don't give a shit anymore.
That house you are in is both of our names and your throwing a big family party there in the midst of all of this shit is a clear example of how tone deaf you are at times.
Your whole fucking family is gonna be there with their judgmental asses and you know I’m not gonna miss my kid's celebration.
You could have talked to me first before doing this party but again you always have to be the spotlight of doing shit and you don't think about how it affects others.
Its the same reason you were at your great-niece’s party looking all crazy and bringing the energy down instead of just letting the family enjoy her day without you forcing yourself into a fucked-up situation.
Now you are forcing the same shit on me because I don't even wanna be around you and your whole crew but of course ... you only think about me when you want some shit.
You are a real trip girl and I'm pissed you used my kid like this.
You did this shit on purpose to get attention on yourself and how wonderful you are and you used her to do it.
Pick up the DAMN PHONE SO I DON’T COME THERE TO HAVE THIS CONVERSATION.”
August 9, 2020 @ 12:03pm
Dick:
“Thank u. Ill be home after the party so we can unwind and talk. I do love you Marie.”
This is the kind of mind fuc@ery I endured pretty much all the time.
August 10, 2020 (1 hour; 19 minutes; 8 seconds more blaming and threatening)
Me: I’m just happy you have someone you can look up to and take care of…Him: One thing I’ve learned is fuck all of y’all
Him: I am still taking care of you. I haven’t done you like I could have done you and rightfully so after that shit you told Tricksy, cause 3 days after you would have been homeless, and Cookie would be driving yo shit.
August 10, 2020 @ 9:24am
Sarah:
“I love my family so much and my heart breaks a little more each time we talk😢. Hearing the words I don't give a fuck about 15 years, broke me again...y'all be safe on the road” 🙏🏼.
(This man, my husband, was on the road going to the casino in Oklahoma with Cookie. So far, he’s sleeping with her, sleeping with my nephew’s wife, threatened to kill me and take away my livelihood because I filed for a divorce, and still, this is who I CHOSE to be to him.)
Dick @ 9:38am
“My sickness is the unfortunate ability to just turn off the switches in my heart and mind .... this protects me from being fucked over and unfortunately forces me not too care.
There are only 2 women who have ever shaken me to the core and you are one of them.
You and Cookie were supposed to be better than me.
Maybe that's unfair but it is what it is.”
August 11, 2020
I had an endoscopy done after throwing up for several days. Tests revealed I had an ulcer the size of a grapefruit.
August 21, 2020
I knew based on his inconsistency, his outbursts, the continuous reminders, threats, contradictions and hypocrisy, that I would have to do something to make it on my own. After the message below, after 5 years of putting it on hold, I picked up where I left off and began writing my memoir again.
@ 4:04pm
I received this message from him after minding my own business and posting a headless pic of my body in a swimsuit on Facebook.
Dick:
“Maybe its just how you are coping but some of this new shit you are doing is coming across as really suspect to me. I really hope you don't do something stupid. We've had enough of that.
I really do not fully trust you with my exposure to you but just think a moment before you start doing this crazy "he ain't my man so he can't say shit" routine.
That may be true in theory, but you know I don’t roll like that.
I don't care if you don't like me would don't make me alternately trusting you harder than it already is.”🤯
Sarah @ 4:20pm
“Oh my God D, I'm freakin exhausted 😢. I'm literally just trying to hold it together...all this shit is cwazzzzzy since I have done NOTHING to warrant any of this...but ok... I'm a good woman and I was good to you... I seriously don't know where all this is coming from...it is my way of coping through an impossible situation... After damn near cracking my head open right before I took that pic, I WAS and AM PROUD of myself for being able to still put one foot in front of the other without falling the fuck apart...WHO I was to you and HOW I loved you is exactly who I am and made a commitment to be to you. You can think and believe what you want to about me, - I can't do anything more than I've already done but my saving grace Is ME knowing my heart and the truth. I have only loved you so pleeeeease D stop it...there's nothing to see here...SERIOUSLY nothing.”😢
Dick @ 4:44pm (More blame)
“You thinking you've done nothing to warrant distrust is crazy in itself but I get it and if what you say is true ... its true.
I have to look out for me first now. I may be over playing that role at times, but I'd rather look hard and miss a fuck over coming instead of not looking and it comes anyway.
I'm a street dude who let a princess get me caught up on blindly believing a woman. Not smart. Never again. It is what it is.”
Sarah @ 4:46 pm
“It really makes me sad how you're so willing to believe the worst about me after all we've been through together.”
Dick @ 5:26 pm
“It is not about believing anything. Its about not knowing what to believe.
We're just from two different worlds. You and your people aren't like me and where I come from. I don't need any of that anymore. I just have to do what I have to.”
Sarah @ 5:28 pm
“Absolutely and I support that and you.”
Dick @ 5:55 pm
“But you need to understand most men don't do that and keep taking care of the woman he's not with anymore.
Being told “I don’t like you” by someone being take care of by me is fucked up but you did change that so its cool.”
Sarah @ 6:11 pm
“But again D, I said that I didn't like the situation...not you...I've reiterated that 4 times😏. Through everything that has happened I absolutely still love and appreciate you...we don't need any further drama... I just want you to be happy and I wanna heal and experience some level of peace... I don't need to hate you, nor do I want to...you did the best you could, and I love you for it.”
August 31, 2020
Sarah @ 12:51am
“I’m just about to turn in but wanted to say Congratulations. I pray you have a restful night sleep in your new home and that you're finally able to be happy and at peace.
Dick:
“Not in there yet but will be tmrw. I’m fine. I still love u dearly. huggy! gn i sent 1000 sending the rest after payroll.”
As long as I got back in line, catered to his whims and sat in the corner like a good little girl, everything was fine in his world, but everything in my world was not!
I genuinely and consistently expressed my wanting his happiness, appreciation for his contributions to my life, and needing my peace, healing, livelihood and a divorce. It fell on deaf ears and seemed to mean absolutely nothing.
It was fuc@king exhausting and mental torture pandering to HIS emotional fragility, insecurities, and continuing to apologize to HIM for betraying me AND my family.
Yesssss, he continued to provide for me and take care of my financial needs. But I was his wife! That’s what he should have done. However, it came at the expense of my overall well-being. I was drowning in a sea of betrayal and constant threats, controlling behavior and disrespect, yet I was the one being judged and accused of being untrustworthy?
It got so bad and unbearable with him constantly blaming me for his infidelity and always saying how he didn’t know what to believe about whether or not the story I told Tricksy was true that I agreed to take a polygraph test so that he could be ok and get past it, AND for my freaking Peace Of Mind!
There are hundreds of conversations, and text messages that I could share detailing the constant emotional, mental and verbal “beatings” that I experienced always surrounding how HE felt about anything and everything he didn’t like at any point in time. But I won’t!
I will fast forward the next 2 years until the moment I was finally done selling my soul to the devil for false promises of convenience, comfort, security, protection, 4 walls, and 4 wheels.
Copyright ©️ 2025