Part 28 The Chronicles Of Being Sarah Marie
“You Just Can’t Make This Shit Up;
Who The Fuck Did I Divorce?”
LISTEN!
As challenging as it may be to re-visit the disrespect and emotionally charged mental mind games and trauma “I ALLOWED” from my husband at the time, I am so proud that I finally (2 years later), had the courage to walk away, physical disability and all! I realized that I was worth more than the disloyalty, dishonor, disrespect, and the dis-ease he continued to dish out!
The more I purge, the more I feel, the more I heal!🦋
People with narcissistic personality disorder “NPD”, or narcissistic traits have an excessive sense of self-importance, a deep need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others,” explained J Cangialosi, a therapist at Relief Mental Health in Oak Brook, Illinois. “They may engage in behaviors that are self-centered, manipulative, and focused on seeking validation.”
It may be challenging to recognize narcissistic abuse, but signs could include:
Gaslighting: Gaslighting is using manipulation to force you into thinking your thoughts and feelings are incorrect. For example, they may deny events that happened, potentially causing you to experience confusion and self-doubt.
Love bombing followed by devaluation: This narcissistic trait involves showering you with love, attention, affection, and praise. Eventually, however, behaviors of criticism, distance, and cynicism may occur. This pattern often repeats, which creates a cycle of highs and lows that may keep you emotionally dependent.
Lack of empathy: In a relationship, a lack of empathy can look like dismissing your feelings, ignoring your needs, or being indifferent when facing difficulties.
Constant criticism and blame: You might notice that they constantly criticize you for small things or make you feel inadequate, often shifting blame to you for problems they created in the relationship.
Isolation: This could manifest as creating conflict or making you feel guilty for spending time with others.
Walking on eggshells: If you feel you need to soothe someone more often than not or try to avoid setting them off or being overly cautious with your words or actions, this is a sign of emotional instability caused by narcissistic abuse.
Can you identify the traits of narcissistic abuse displayed in the conversation with Dick below?
September 13, 2020 12:48pm
(I had asked Dick a couple of days before if he could help me with my printer, at the time he could help, my sister was over for lunch, and I just wanted to enjoy the time I had with her. I “asked” if he could come after she left and this was his response:
You are totally insane! I am doing EVERY FUCKING thing in the world for your ass and you want to shun me off so your damn sister won't get butt hurt by seeing me.
What blows my mind is NO-ONE IS IN THEIR FEELINGS ABOUT BEING IN THE POOL I PAY FOR OR RIDING WITH YOUR ASS IN THE CAR I PAY FOR but now they can't hold their over seeing me in MY shit I'm keeping for you!
You and your peeps got some real fucked up ways.
And what the fuck has Nedra been through that she can't function in the place I’M PAYING FOR with me there to do shit YOU ASKED ME TO DO FOR YOU!
Didn't nobody fuck her man! Damn girl ... you are a whole ass trip!
Camerons getting $4,000 a month because I’m looking out for YOUR ASS and you wanna play me like that!???
Damn right that shit is fucked!
Sarah: 12:56pm
I know Dick I'm so sorry 😢. Just trying to figure out how to live this new fucked up reality and normal while maintaining sanity AND having to depend on you for everything I'm about to crack the fuck up and go over the damn edge...this shit is hard enough as it is, without having to be berated by you ... I don't expect you to understand how Ned has been hurt...just know that she has😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢
Dick: 1:02pm
I wonder if Nedra would tell her ex-husband to stay away from the crib he pays for so you won't be on tilt?
Sarah: 1:14pm
Is it my home because like you have said so many times, I've earned it and deserve it, or is it the home you pay for with conditions? It's more about me than Ned or anyone D..."I" don't want to deal with discomfort..."I" want to relax and enjoy lunch with my sister without you telling me how I allowed her to disrespect you in the home you pay for after you allowed that girl to disrespect me in OUR home for MONTHS... I don't understand how much more you want from me Dick...dammit mannnnnn I'm doing the best I can through all of this SHIT😢😢😢
Sarah: 2:09pm
I wouldn't ever want to do anything to offend, disrespect or shun you Dick...everything you have done to and for me and continue to do is GREATLY appreciated.
Dick: 2:17pm
“ok. enjoy your lunch ... And it is definitely not as challenging to deal with shit when there are so many other things you don't have to worry about.
If you lived anywhere near the real world you would understand that there aint no man out there that would leave a woman and continue to do everything for her and still take care of her.
That shit just don't happen so maybe give that a little thought the next time you are trying to prioritize someone's butt hurt feelings.
None of you really even took 5 seconds to consider the fucking terror that you're golden boy nephew caused for "that girl" but now as she went and did something fucked up in response everybody wants they’re feelings to be paid attention to. It's ridiculous.
Actually Diva. I'm not even mad at you. You are spoiled rotten and I am responsible for spoiling you. There is no way in h*** I was going to stop spoiling you when I am the one that made the decision to move on. But I do however expect not to be brushed aside because of someone else's feelings.
call me crazy but it is what it is.
enjoy your lunch.”
Sarah: 2:41pm
If that girl was so freakin unhappy and was being abused as she says then I'm all for supporting her leaving and getting the fuck away from this horrible situation...that's one thing but fucking your Aunt's husband and building a relationship with him, in front of your face and behind your back for months while hugging and laughing and accepting gifts, food, money and smiling is just fucked up, low down, deliberate, callous, cunning, nasty, shitty, disrespectful, dirty and just plain wrong on so many levels...I don't care how you wanna slice it up...but yes, it is what it is.
Dick: 2:16pm
“I get your point. Get mine. Don't blow me off to cater to someone else's issues.
Tricksy nor Nedra have anything to do with how Dick and Sarah deal with Dick and Sarah.
Let’s keep it that way.
make sense?”
Sarah: 2:36pm
NO mannnnn😳
I agree that our biz is our biz, but when one half of our is ME and I just ask the other half YOU to cut me some slack... I pray that you can just "get me" without making it about me slighting you...it's just me dealing with this crap whether you're taking care of shit or not, it's still hard, emotional, heartbreaking and soul crushing...fuck dude, just fuck😳. If it wasn't so tragic that you can't find it in your heart or head to understand it would be hilarious but it's not.😪
Dick: 4:27pm
This has zero to do with understanding. I get YOUR issues.
Any chick I get with isn’t going to like me coming there to do shit for you all the time but she'll have to get over it bcuz Im not gonna slight you over her hang ups.
In other words ... you don't want me to treat you different bcuz of someone else on my side being in their feelings so don't do it with me.
I don't care who it is.
Nedras all hung up because her grown ass son couldn't keep his woman and she stepped out with your man.
That's a Dick, Sarah, nephew and Tricksy problem ... at least it should be.
I get it.
Y'all don't roll like that and everyone's gotta be involved with their 2 cents but NONE OF THEIR ASSES ARE WRITING CHECKS EVERY MONTH.
This is the real world Diva..Love don't pay one god damned bill.
If you ain't got paper ... you ain't shit in this world. It is what it is. That's the reality I have to live for all of the women I am responsible for. You all have the luxury not to have to think like that. Red ass people like me make it easier for the blue folks like you to ignore the realities of this cold ass street shit.
Wake up momma.
You can be lovey dovey all day long but you still gotta see shit for what it is.
Tricksy betrayed you and your nephew. Not Nedra. Not H .. no one else. Everyone needs to mind their own house and the dirt they got under their rugs.
No matter what Tricksy did ... she didnt fuck with your money because I wouldn't let that happen.
Thats rare.
Most of these niggahs take the cash first and leave the ex to figure it all out on her own.
Tell your sister to focus on that her sis is still being taken care of extremely well since she's so distraught over Tricksy doing the same shit she did.
FUCKING SOMEONE ELSE'S NIGGAH.
I dont care if you get it..Just dont play over me for someone else with an opinion.”
“Karma is going to hit some of y’all hard for breaking women who had nothing but good intentions. Maybe not today, or tomorrow, but God is going to spin the block for that girl the He sent to truly love you while you left her questioning if true love even existed. She was helping you heal your trauma, and you were helping create hers. While she was busy cooking your favorite meals, you were busy hopping in girls’ DM’s. And you think you’re just gonna ride off into the sunset after a ruining a girl that was down to ride for you? Now, I know we all make mistakes, but that don’t change that you gonna still have to lay in that bed that you made. Like one day you gonna be the one that’s vulnerable with a woman and instead of the one that used to be your safe space, this one is gonna throw your darkest secrets back in your face. Or when you are at your lowest and that new girl that you enticed with all that money ain’t calling you back, you will think about the one that would have loaned you something even if she knew that you couldn’t pay her back. What I’m saying is, when you treated her wrong, you were really trading her in for a girl that’s gonna make you wish you can go back in time and do it all over again. Because the DM’s might delete, the text messages might unsend, but the Universe’s receipts are forever. The one you did wrong, she ain’t even gotta get revenge because the same karma that watched her love you without condition, also watched you damage and then discard her for no reason. So, best believe, it’s coming. And when it does, you better hope your karma finds you and not your daughter’s.”
- Derrick Jaxn
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT27fCXPh/
“Healing from narcissistic abuse and trauma can be daunting, but so worth the journey!”
Love and Light, Sarah Marie🌹
#thechroniclesofbeingsarahmarie #protectyourheart #leadwithlove #healyourtrauma #knowyourworth #loveyourself #unbreakablespirit #creatinginthechaos♥️
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