Part 34 The Chronicles Of Being Sarah Marie

“You Just Can’t Make This Shit Up;

Who The Fuck Did I Divorce?”

LISTEN!

Healing the wounds of trauma, has required more than I could have ever imagined. I have had to dig deep within to find the inner strength to face the reality of my 3 decades long physical dis-ability, as well as the pain staking almost 5-year process of debilitating betrayal and divorcing a narcissistic abuser.

I continue the daily work to love, honor, respect, value, validate and appreciate myself. Trust and believe, it is a moment-to-moment process and practice I have adopted to lift and empower my self worth before sinking into the abyss.

Have you ever had moments where you just scream to the top of your lungs:

FU@K!!!!!!!!😂.

Well, I have and yesterday was that day!

I was on the struggle bus for real. It was just an overwhelmingly difficult day physically, which definitely has an emotionally draining component to it as well. At least once EVERYDAY my precious heart races and skips a few beats due to what could have been a catastrophic accident.

Normally, I have the patience of Job and the most positive mindset when it comes to managing myself through dealing with my condition and life as it shows up.

Yesterday, baybeee, was not one of those days. I had a serious come to Jesus conversation with God and was screaming; come on Dad this is some bullsh@t!😵‍💫

Everything I picked up, or had in my hands I dropped, which wouldn’t be a big deal to most, but my “pick up stuff off the floor” game ain’t no joke and literally takes me 10 minutes just to pick up a freaking chip. I dropped my already cracked Ipad for the 5th time, with a camera that works when it feels like it, and that took me over-the-edge.

I had 2 moments of shit, “I’ve fallen and don’t know how I’m gone get up”! Most times I am positively talking to myself and breathing through it. I pat myself on the back, affirm how amazing my resilience is, praise God for His presence, Grace, Mercy and keep on rolling!

I ain’t do none of that yesterday.😂

I had a pity party for about 15 good frustrating minutes, cried, screamed, crawled around trying to figure it out, then stopped, was still, present in that moment with gratitude that I didn’t hurt myself, thought about those that don’t even have arms, legs, or the ability to crawl. I prayed, asked God to sit in my heart, took 3 deep inhales, exhales, and quickly became my own best friend!

I centered myself in God’s embrace. Dismantled any negative, disempowering thoughts or conversations I was “making-up” and having with myself surrounding the events and circumstances I endured; then replaced them with positive thoughts, beliefs, and conversations that lifted and empowered my sense of self worth.

I focused my attention on my incredible family, amazing friends, the beautiful blessings of life, love, laughter and remembered that in the midst of the pain and struggle, I AM Still Here to fulfill God’s purpose for my life!🥰

As I continue this series, I am reminded that I have survived everything that was meant to hurt, harm and with malice to destroy me. And I have survived it with love, grace, forgiveness, and gratitude in my heart for those that continue in their quest.

The very person choosing to cause me harm, has been my greatest teacher, and I will be forever grateful for the value, benefit and lessons learned. My ex-husband encouraged me to stop holding things in out of fear, to speak up for myself, and through his example, to always be authentically me, with no apologies, and then decided to retaliate against me when I did.

Now that I have been stretched and liberated from “crippling” fear, I will continue to Break The Silence, share the truth of my experiences – with NO fear! So, for that I say THANK YOU.

If it were not for the experiences of abuse and ongoing behaviors from him, I may have never healed from the trauma of fear that I adopted from the love, hate, fear-based relationship that I had with the first man in my life – My Dad.

I will end this post with two of my favorite quotes from a couple of Powerful Voices:

“When talking about girls' empowerment and women as well, you'll often hear people saying; “You're helping them find their voices.” I fundamentally disagree with that. Women don't need to find their voice. They need to feel empowered to use it and people need to be encouraged to listen.”

- MEGHAN MARKLE

“What I know for sure is that speaking your truth is the most powerful tool we all have. And I'm especially proud, and inspired, by all the women who have felt strong enough and empowered enough to speak up and share their personal stories.”

- OPRAH WINFREY

Love and Light,

Sarah Marie🌹

#thechroniclesofbeingsarahmarie #protectyourheart #leadwithlove #healyourtrauma #knowyourworth #loveyourself #unbreakablespirit #creatinginthechaos #metoomovement♥️

Copyright ©️ 2025